When you do something awesome, and by that I mean something REALLY awesome, it makes you feel full, complete, connected. And when you do it with REALLY, REALLY awesome people, it makes you feel like you belong and have a much greater purpose.
And then you go home. And you feel like it's just you, good old regular you, in just good old regular life. And you don't feel full, or complete, or connected. You may even feel empty, incomplete, and utterly disconnected! I am feeling that today. Add to that the fact that for 10 days, I was surrounded by like minded people who also want to change the world and you have a great recipe for loneliness. I am feeling lonely today.
Out of all of my friends and my family, no one wanted the 30 second story, never mind the 10 or 30 minutes. And I am feeling lost, homesick for Arroyo Seco, and utterly alone. I look at every single picture that was posted on Facebook, answer all the posts and send messages to my Hero Holiday friends.
And all those mantras that I repeat to myself, all that positivity and passion, all that love and compassion, that drive, those things that define me, they just don't feel like they have the same meaning at all anymore.
But you know what, maybe I can't find their meaning because their meaning has CHANGED. Those ideals I had before I left, they are still there, they are still so very strong, but I simply need to figure out what their new meaning is in light of this Live Different Hero Holiday experience. I need to dig deep and find it in me to take action from here and today. Because making a difference doesn't happen in a vacuum.
Live Different has facilitated my encounter with a wonderful community where my whole team was able to make a difference. And coming home to a wonderful country like Canada only accentuates and highlights the great social inequalities that exist in our world.
My message to you my Hero Holiday friends is to be kind. Be kind first to yourself. Do what makes you feel better. Be sad. Feel the feelings that you need to feel and then... then just let them go. That should leave room for action and kindness, for moving forward and for being an agent of change wherever it is that you stand in this world. Be kind to others everyday, that should bring you happiness. Every act of kindness, however random or small, changes the world for the better.
I will see you again my friends. We will be somewhere some day, making a difference and it will be like 'Hey, remember that epic cement making day? That changed my life...'